Love Language

After talking to a few people, I began thinking about the language that we use to define our relationships. Without doubt, our love language as I like to call it, has evolved over time and terms like "going steady" don't reside in our modern day vocabularies. I'm curious if the words and the phrases we use today to define our relationships are essentially defining the same dating behavior in years/decades/centuries past, or if our dating behavior has evolved with our language. I know that was a mouthful, but I'm going to answer my own question and go with the latter.

I decided to get a student's perspective on some of the modern terms we use to label our relationship statuses and ended up finding Christine Wojtasek, a junior majoring in English Literature and Spanish, who had some very interesting takes on the modern day language of love.

Here are the terms I prompted her with followed by her reaction:

"Talking" to someone: When I first heard this word I was like “talking” what do you mean “talking?” you can talk to anyone. But I like the term now and started to use it because it’s not as official as dating, but it’s not as unofficial as just being friends.

Hooking up: When some people say hooking up they mean making out or fooling around, but whenever I hear the term used I always interpret it as having sex with someone. If I were to use the term hooking up or if I hear it, I assume that it’s not serious and it’s just for fun.

Going out: When I was younger, when you said you were going out with someone that was your official boyfriend, but it’s not as widely used now. Now you say “this is my boyfriend” or “this is my girlfriend,” “going out” doesn’t have the same effect.

Dating: If I’m dating someone I guess it’s not as far as boyfriend or girlfriend, but it’s more serious than just talking to a guy. I guess it means I’d be going out with them and possibly be interested in taking it to a more serious level, but I guess the term is contextual.

"Seeing" someone: I never really use that term, but I guess it means dating?

Complicated: This means you were seeing a guy and got into a fight---I think Facebook kind of invented the term “it’s complicated.”

Official: If it’s official, then it’s official dammit! Especially if it’s on Facebook, enough said. But really, I don’t like to announce relationships on Facebook because then it’s kind of like everyone’s going to be up in your business. If the relationship ends like two weeks later, 230 people are going to know that you just got dumped.

Although I find the student perspective most appealing, I found a video featuring psychologist Lillian Glass who defines a few modern dating terms and offers a few words of advice for those who seek it. While I believe these terms are up for interpretation, it's still interesting to see what she has to say about the language of love.


Getting A Date: Basic Dating Terms